Archive for July, 2009

UNUCC Expresses Elevated Concern About Cardboard Tube Buildup

UNUCC Observers inspected cardboard tube debris during a 2008 skirmish

UNUCC observers inspect cardboard tube debris during a 2008 skirmish

UNUCC observers deployed in San Francisco are reporting a deeply alarming buildup of cardboard tube stockpiles near Golden Gate Park.  Similar buildups of weapons-grade cardboard tubes in 2008 resulted in three outbreaks of tube conflict, including a cardboard tube fight witnessed firsthand by UNUCC observers.

UNUCC urges a diplomatic solution for tube tensions and asks all cardboard militants to lay down their tubes and accept an internationally brokered distubament agreement.

Civilians and humanitarian workers are strongly cautioned against going to Golden Park this Sunday at 4pm due to the high likelihood of cardboard tube conflict.

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