United Nations Deeply Concerned by Bridal Flash Mob

This is what happens when brides are not subject to international monitoring

This is what happens when brides are not subject to international monitoring

The UNCCH expresses deep concern about Saturday’s abnormal public event known as Brides of March. Late last week the Commission convened an emergency session to formulate an international response to this APE.  There is no question that the event is well outside the Ten Points of the San Francisco Protocol.  It is historically underserved by the mainstreaming Frat Person presence, there is no public input regarding the nature of the event, and alarming numbers of tourist onlookers sustain dangerous levels of shock and bogglement.

On Thursday night the Commission forwarded its recommendations to the UN Normalcy Council: a strongly worded resolution was needed providing a mandate for vigorous international monitoring.  As the event loomed the Council became embroiled in a heated diplomatic debate with member nations China and the United States objecting strenuously to the application of the San Francisco Protocol in this instance.  The United States hosts a number of commercially sucessfully abnormal public events such as Burning Man and Mardi Gras and refuses to allow a precedent of international intervention.  China exports 95% of the world’s Mardi Gras beads and inexpensive costumery and views these events as economically vital (provided they do not occur in mainland China where they are strictly forbidden.)

As a result of these objections the Normalcy Council was unable to agree upon a resolution and UNCCH was prevented from monitoring Brides of March.  Regardless, the Commission is deeply concerned by the event and encourages signatories of the Protocol to speak out against the trafficking of used bridal dresses and the confusing of tourists in protected tourism zones.

Commander EDW Lynch

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