RESOLUTION 0190 (2009): Pillow Conflict in San Francisco

Empowered by its new mandate, the UNCCH prepares for imminent deployment in San Francisco

Empowered by its new mandate, the UNCCH prepares for imminent deployment in San Francisco

United Nations Commission on Costumes & Holidays
Special Council on Pillow Conflict

Resolution 0190 (2009)

Adopted by the Commission at its 256th meeting, on February 9, 2009

The Commission,

Recalling its earlier statements of concern about rising pillow conflict in San Francisco, New York, and London in resolutions 0147 (2006), 0160 (2007), and 0177 (2008),

Gravely alarmed by the 3,756 persons on the Facebook group for the San Francisco Pillow Fight of 2009 indicating they will attend and that it will be “hella tight,”

Taking note of the Special Bedtime Envoy’s report of November 12, 2008 regarding the proliferation of the uranium-dipped goose down “weaponized” pillows,

Reiterates the Reykjavik Accords of 2005, signed by all member states, calling for an end to pillow conflict by 2015,

Vigorously urges all pillow militants to voluntarily and peacefully lay down their pillows,

Underlines the prohibitions under International Pillow Law against attacking un-pillowed and camera-wielding persons,

Condemns the compressing of pillow filling for the purposes of increasing the density to inhumane levels in contravention with International Pillow Law,

Reiterates the many peaceful uses for pillows, including as an implement of sleep, for mild-to-moderate cuddling, and personal use outside the purview of this Commission,

Acting under Chapter XX of the United Nations Charter,

Decides to authorize the UNCCH to assemble and dispatch a multinational observer force to any potential zones of pillow conflict, especially in regards to the situation in San Francisco, with the following mandate:

a) to monitor any and all pillow conflict,
b) to facilitate the inspection of pillows to ensure compliance with International law,
c) to ensure the safety of United Nations and international humanitarian personnel in pillow conflict zones,
d) to train at risk persons in peaceful pillow use,
e) and to provide humanitarian aid to refugees of pillow conflict.

Encourages member states to provide personnel and moral support for the UNCCH mission,

Thanks the Secretary General for the very thoughtful card,

Decides to remain actively seized of the matter.

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