Archive for the 'Strongly Worded Warning' Category

UN Announces International Twitter Tribunal

The International Twitter Tribunal will strike fear in the hearts of those who would overshare electronically.  Photo cc Yang Yu

The International Twitter Tribunal will strike fear in the hearts of those who would overshare electronically. Photo cc Yang Yu

Despite the United Nations Unconventional Culture Commission’s strongly worded Twitter Embargo, illegal tweets emanating from the Burning Man Safe Zone have not been curtailed. In response to this growing Web 2.0 crisis, the Normalcy Council has formed the first ever International Twitter Tribunal. The tribunal is tasked with prosecuting the vast number of tweet criminals and rogue Foursquare mayors who have flaunted UN Resolution 0191, the Twitter Embargo of Burning Man.

@Mike_FTW is among a number of Tweet Extremists defying the UN Twitter Embargo

@Mike_FTW is among a number of Tweet Extremists defying the UN Twitter Embargo

Unfortunately there is very little international legal precedent regarding chronically narcissistic electronic oversharing exemplified by the glut of inane tweets from the Burning Man Safe Zone. Prosecutors are expected to base their cases on the 1849 London Agreement on Spurious Telegrams which specifically forbids “the transmission of spurious, inane, mediocre, or narcissistic electrical communiqués across international borders.” The agreement was last applied in the controversial hanging of the self-involved Dutch telegraph operator and amateur poet Jens Blurgenburg in 1908.

There is no word yet on a timeline for prosecution, but UNUCC Commander EDW Lynch noted that “these tweet extremists are building the very cases against them, 140 characters at a time.”

UNUCC Expresses Elevated Concern About Cardboard Tube Buildup

UNUCC Observers inspected cardboard tube debris during a 2008 skirmish

UNUCC observers inspect cardboard tube debris during a 2008 skirmish

UNUCC observers deployed in San Francisco are reporting a deeply alarming buildup of cardboard tube stockpiles near Golden Gate Park.  Similar buildups of weapons-grade cardboard tubes in 2008 resulted in three outbreaks of tube conflict, including a cardboard tube fight witnessed firsthand by UNUCC observers.

UNUCC urges a diplomatic solution for tube tensions and asks all cardboard militants to lay down their tubes and accept an internationally brokered distubament agreement.

Civilians and humanitarian workers are strongly cautioned against going to Golden Park this Sunday at 4pm due to the high likelihood of cardboard tube conflict.


UNUCC on Flickr

Fashion Show-15

UNUCC on the case

UNUCC and the (tiny) Man.

Balsa man 2009

Balsa man 2009

Balsa man 2009

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September 27 Folsom Street Fair