At stake is nothing less than the world's ability to ignore Burning Man. Photo cc Steven Tan
Following an intense emergency session, the United Nations Normalcy Council has released UN Resolution 0191 calling for an embargo of all tweets originating from the Burning Man Abnormal Behavior Containment Safe Zone. According to the resolution, twitter messages and any other form of cellular- or wireless-based communications leaking from the safe zone represent “a grave threat to worldwide normalcy by allowing the weirdness of Burning Man to escape to the outside world.” Additionally, the resolution “reflects a consensus that the international community doesn’t really want to hear up-to-the-minute updates on [a participant's] ongoing voyage self discovery and/or how many Clifbars they have eaten today.”
Violators of the Burning Man Twitter Embargo will be subject to @reply sanctions
The embargo strictly forbids any and all tweets, emails, cell phone transmissions, or other forms of electronic communication between the abnormal persons in the Burning Man safe zone and the outside world. The embargo also renders any Foursquare “Mayors” of Black Rock City illegitimate.
All violators of the embargo are subject to the vigorous condemnation of the international community as well as targeted “@reply Sanctions” by UNUCC.
To Report Embargo Violators to the United Nations
To report a violator of the UN Twitter Embargo, transmit the following message:
“I am reporting [@twitter_name] to @UNUCC for violating the UN Twitter Embargo of Burning Man. #BMembargo”
UNUCC Twitter Monitors will immediately be dispatched to investigate the user’s violation. Confirmed violators of the embargo will be vigorously sanctioned via Twitter and added to the listed below.
UN Twitter Monitors vigorously sanction violators of the Embargo
Violators of the UN Twitter Embargo of Burning Man:
sfslim
josephpred
steve23
doublejosh
reedsturtevant
hackmancoltaire
shellyshelly
Rubin110
brady
calliloopy
mr_bill
robsample
mike_FTW
jsgarvin
hodgman
owlmonkey
Waltarrrrr
carnivillain
foursquare
If you liked this, check out the Petition Against Four Square on the Playa
http://www.thepetitionsite.com/1/no-four-square-on-the-playa
I would also think we should start a small-arms embargo on Balsa Man tweets.
The UN has heard reports of this “Balsa Man” event and it sounds like an Abnormal Behavior Containment Safe Zone…only somehow, cuter.
cute ! I wish I was burning with you guys this year !!
this was hilarious to read.
thank you @Sparklebottom for making me aware of it.
oh, and Hi to Greg Tse, @daMongolian.
“burningman was better last year.. ” ;-P
Burning Man is so 20th century.
I suggest the UN also include Facebook posting to this embargo!
Since you guys don’t want any sort of communication going on (e.g. no twitter, etc) why are you broadcasting video?
UNUCC vigorously condemns any and all streaming video or Facebook status updates leaking from the Burning Man Safe Zone.
So why did I hear rumors of some sort of cellular service being available to the people there?
UNUCC is not responsible for cell service at Burning Man; on the contrary we are vigorously condemning it.