Comments on: The San Francisco Protocol

By: United Nations Deeply Concerned by Bridal Flash Mob « The United Nations Commission on Costumes & Holidays (UNCCH)

Sun, 15 Mar 2009 22:59:21 +0000

[...] an international response to this APE. There is no question that the event is well outside the Ten Points of the San Francisco Protocol. It is historically underserved by the mainstreaming Frat Person presence, there is no public [...]

By: Canadian Council of Dullard Propagation

Canadian Council of Dullard Propagation — Fri, 13 Mar 2009 16:25:52 +0000

The Canadian Council would like to thank the UN for passing this bill. For too long Canada has been the only beacon of normality in this confusing and scary world. Finally, the cold fingers of pseudo socialism have reached out to embrace the rest of the world!

Signed,
The CCDP

By: Director of Public Events, NYC

Director of Public Events, NYC — Thu, 12 Mar 2009 02:13:41 +0000

Let the record show that the City of New York strongly opposes the efforts of UNCCH since said city will no longer know what events to replicate and attempt to appropriate with their massive population of lemmings.

By: UNCCH PRESS CORP

UNCCH PRESS CORP — Wed, 11 Mar 2009 22:46:49 +0000

I recommend an amendment providing for the safety and welfare of all press corp photographers.
Furthermore, I would request that corporate sponsors would additionally provide a stack of homemade cookies and a full assortment of lighting rigs, lenses and other photography related paraphernalia.
In the spirit of fairness, of course.

Yours in taking inappropriate photos of celebutantes leaving their limos,

Control_Z
(aka ^Z)

By: The U.N. Commission on Costumes and Holidays Responds to Threatened Crackdown on “Flash Mob”-esque Events

Wed, 11 Mar 2009 21:39:47 +0000

[...] events, The United Nations Commission on Costumes & Holidays (UNCCH) has issued a response: the San Francisco Protocol on Abnormal Public Events. I for one welcome their intervention in returning San Francisco to a state of normalcy in which [...]

By: Sir E. D. W. Lynch

Sir E. D. W. Lynch — Wed, 11 Mar 2009 00:38:47 +0000

The United Nations thanks the member states for their support for a consensus on abnormal public events. We also extend a welcoming hand to Walnut Creek and The Haight, as the first non-state member signatories of the San Francisco Protocol.

Yours in service of humanity,

Commander EDW Lynch

By: Communications Specialist J. Newton Davis

Communications Specialist J. Newton Davis — Tue, 10 Mar 2009 23:59:06 +0000

The citizens of Walnut Creek will have to pry their desired seats from the Federated States of Micronesia’s cold, dead hands. Please do not force us to crush you with our giant stone currency.

Sincerely,
F. to the S. to the M’FIN M.

By: Walnut Creek

Walnut Creek — Tue, 10 Mar 2009 23:08:37 +0000

The citizens of Walnut Creek, as the foremost experts on normalcy, are taken aback by the fact that they were not consulted for advice with this protocol.

We, the citizens of Walnut Creek, will only agree to sign this protocol as long as Walnut Creek is guaranteed a majority number of seats on the Normalcy Council.

Signed,
Walnut Creek

By: Belgand

Belgand — Tue, 10 Mar 2009 22:39:19 +0000

This protocol has, after rigorous inspection, been found to be in line with the standing policy to further gentrify the Haight and, as such, meets with our full support.

Duly signed this date of March Tenth, Two-thousand and nine
M. M. Belgand
Director of Corporate Public Development
Interzone

By: Kasey

Kasey — Tue, 10 Mar 2009 20:09:00 +0000

France would like to amend our earlier statement:

So long as the supply of wine, cigarettes, brie and CHEAPLY ROUGED
WHORES is not affected by this protocol France agrees.

That is all.

-France